lmao i guess my problem is that i don’t really like the premise of into darkness to begin with? of all the directions they could’ve taken, they chose that one
and to illustrate what i mean i’m going to use another food analogy!
i don’t really like bananas
i just… don’t
if somebody makes me banana nut waffles topped off with a scoop of vanilla ice cream and chocolate syrup and caramelized banana of course i’ll be able to enjoy that shit in some way but it doesn’t change the fact that i don’t really like bananas in the first place so that dish will never be my favourite no matter how well-prepared it is because it will always get that built-in ‘contains bananas’ 5-point deduction
But you don’t run out on the people you care about. Wish I was more like that.
i like filipino teleseryes because they have their roots in latin american telenovelas but the philippines has a rich mythology so it also has MAGIC and other fantasy elements
so you’ve got the usual villainesses stealing babies and making very potent bombs that can make entire complexes explode (there are always bombs? because apparently every upper-class socialite knows how to make them?) and throwing acid on people’s faces but ALSO mermaids and angels and bird people and twins who are identical in every way except one is like made of water
i still can’t bring myself to care about one direction but i don’t know, i don’t really do anything about it because at this point i’ve just kind of learned to see them as an unavoidable presence in my life like dirty dishes and slow pedestrians and fearless… city… squirrels
last night after a discussion of bad fanfic terms for pubes, I recalled I have an anthology of Victorian pornography stories and I went through documenting all the slang terms for various body parts and acts. NSFW, obviously. Also: they really only used “forest” or “mossy covering” for pubic hair in the anthology but the ladies were invariably hairy as all get out, just pubes from navel to knee, essentially. Dirty gents.
oh you victorians
“ Anastasia, do you have any idea how much money I make?”
I flush, of course not. “Why should I? I don’t need to know the bottom line of your bank account, Christian.”
His eyes soften. “I know. That’s one of the things I love about you.”
I gaze at him, shocked. Love about me?
“Anastasia, I earn roughly one hundred thousand dollars an hour.
Fifty Shades Darker, p. 78.
oh yeah? well i earn roughly four dollars and twenty eight cents an hour so go fuck yourself. BEFORE TAXES.